Standing on a Doubt

It's so confusing when many things come to this way. Everything changes to hesitation, changes to worries. All the lights just go down to corner, letting the darkness fulfill the room. No, it's okay to let everything be what it should be, but adversity does really exist. Yeah, it's okay to stay on this road, but perplexity will be draining.

Now, I am walking through this empty field, and the red sky is turning black. This evening can be so cold with the wind blows my hairs and skin, just like what I feel inside. I'm walking, keep walking. Looking around the sky and smiling to that beautiful art. Then I'm talking, and I'm talking by my self. Wish one of those stars could really understand what I whisper in my heart.

I have no idea, all of things in mind is just going away, letting me down and empty. I guess I'm reaching my limit by the hardest one, deciding the right to believe and the wrong to leave. And nothing, nothing has been chosen. The tender trembling heart will be just dancing on a doubt, and i can do nothing to disclose a hope. But, how could I decide who worth to fight is, if I'm not? I could not. I should know what I should act like, what I should look like, but I just screwed all things up.

So complicated. I am standing under the guilt, the guilt of mine. And when I realize just what I did, this guilt is pricking me deeply. Oh, I was a damn foolish with all I did, a damn stupid one who hide her feeling so well. I never said, but He's truly what I want, truly what I need. To miss, to love. I am now believe what I feel, what I have inside of me. No more adversity, no more perplexity, but it's useless because I'm late. Then, I feel so lonely, and really lonely. Lost from the time, lost from him. I just hope all those lights will come again, and brighten me the road to go back. But, still, I stand on a doubt, but a doubt of hope, a doubt of me, and not of him.